because life happens...

life happens. i know we hear this a million or more times in our lives but it remains unheard so many of those times. life. it happens.
so much life has happened as of late i have neglected my writing (and music and probably other things too) and maybe i will start some things back up.
when my divorce was finalized last year i was in a seemingly good place in my life and my daughter and i were managing a new norm in our lives and we made things work for us. we descended into a normalcy of work-daycare-visitation and it seemed to be going just fine. i was trying to keep myself together and happy so that everything would be worth it. i got us a house and we found ourselves in a seemingly good and stable world.
i made some huge mistakes in that time. i made some decisions for myself personally that weren't what was best for her but they made me feel better about my situation and when truth finally came to the light i was able to step out of the situation, look on, decide what needed to be done and get out of it. best decision i ever made.
we finally were able to make a home-just my girl and her momma. she is my prize and i will do whatever it takes to make sure she is healthy and happy and safe. i am so proud of us for making our lives what we want it to be-what we needed it to be for so long.
i made a new friend at work during the summer. we quickly became inseparable and she did her best to get me into mingling with adults my age instead of sitting at home to mope alone when little red was with her dad. her family is amazing and she has been one of the best and most loyal friends i have ever known. (just a side note - hold on to these people in your life. you need them to restore your faith in humanity and in life in general.)
she introduced me to a friend of hers one night and we talked a little and made some sort of castle statue of the remnant bottles of the nights and also some random cell phones that were...lying on the table...?
he was pretty fun and entertaining. we met up a few more times and decided hey, we kinda like each other. i was hardly expecting anything serious in my life because my focus was a certain red head and nothing was going to break red and momma vs. the world.
well, as it goes. life happened. life, in the form of a tiny little unexpected blessing that we were so scared and unsure of at first but now are so excited to have.
i think his face turned white when i told him. i think he didn't speak for a good half-hour and stared into space. but when he did speak again his words were sweet, supportive. "i guess it is a good thing we kinda like each other." i knew that we would be ok. that he would be ok. that we would do this and make it work for our little belly dweller.
we went to that first appointment in shock. i saw that little flicker within the seahorse looking thing in my belly and fell in love...with the sea horse, and probably with his daddy too. he has held my hand thru every appointment, thru the needles - which i HATE! - and thru some random for-no-reason-at-all emotional breakdowns.
this man in my life has a good heart. i have seen him work hard night and day and help with things around the house and even with my parents' move to a new business that few would even begin to compare. he amazes me daily and his antics with my daughter are adorable - annoying at times - but i wouldn't change a thing. if he is scared of an instant family with a single mom he hasn't shown it. he took on a joint birthday party with my family and red's dad's family with ease and it was wonderful for everyone to be under the same roof and loving on our girl on her special day.
i am thankful every day that life happens. because it turns out it is exactly what we needed to find our little pocket of happiness in this world. red and i couldn't ask for a better person to share it with and now brother will be joining us around june and we are so happy to be a family and have laughter in our home again, pictures on the walls, and a goofball to share in the chaos.
happy vday goofball. we love you very much.